Saturday, March 07, 2009

The March Report

I'm okay.

In January I had another sleep study to study the dental appliance we bought last year to cure me of my mild sleep apnea.  It cost a house payment and a half, and no, it was not covered by insurance.  

My sleep study indicates that not only is it doing no good, I'm actually a little worse.  They did not turn on my oxygen during the study to see how low my oxygen would actually go, and it went to 67%.  So, I get another sleep study in April, and probably do the C-PAP thing.  Ugh.  

I lost my friend Anne Caesar in February.  Anne was a PH patient with scleroderma, a physician, had a wicked sense of humor, was Greek to the core of her bones, and I miss her awfully.  Remember Bruce, her husband, as you will.  He was her caretaker and her enabler for the last few years, they were necessarily inseparable, and he is having to find a new way.

Now, I'm going to say something, and those who have ears should hear.

Life is short.  

There is some need, in some folks, to complicate their lives.  To invent crises, or persecutions, or to simply waste the lives they have enjoying their maladies, celebrating their sickness, creating a career of victimhood.  They invent complication, and drama, and make public demonstrations of their righteousness, and how they have been wronged.

I reject this.

I deal with my disease, and I try to help others deal with theirs.  It is not my focus (despite what this blog may look like),  and I refuse to enable this in others.

It reminds me, not attractively, of middle-class women, sitting in their Laura Ashley living rooms, declaring their solidarity with the oppressed masses due to their own oppression by male hegemony.

Utter bullshit.

Sorry, gang, but when you decide to play your games in public, making dramatic entrances and exits announcing your victimhood and oppression, I have only a couple of words for you.

Grow up.


Anonymous said...

Well said, Ellen..Wisdom must come with age...LOL..I am getting there;)
Ughh about the Cpap but if it helps that will be great :))
Sorry about your friend , Anne..I will keep her hubby in my prayers.

Until next time..Which I hope will not be so long...LOL
Take care and TTYL...

Jeannie said...

3amen sister ellen...

Cathy said...

Very well said, Elena.

BTW...You will love C-Pap, once you get used to it:)

Annette said...

Cheers to you and your way with words!

Teddybear said...

Hrs H. I'm a little behind in reading. Well written.

I am going for a 20 hrs sleep study on the 26th 89pm of march then spend the day there , eating, being a wake for 2hrs then tade a 20min nap.

The day time sleep study starts at 5am and goes until 5pm
and at every 2hr mark I eat a snack then I will be ordered to take a breif nap.

10yrs ago when I had this done - my last 20min nap took 2hrs to wake me up. I had to get a very stonger coffee just so I ccould wake up enough to drive home.

This time I have a ride to and from, anyway I have marked my calendar for April for the sllep study - just let me know when so I can more that night for you for a good report. love deb

lora said...

Ellen we can always count on you to give it to us straight. Yes there are times that I have felt sorry for myself. I am now looking at this as a blessing. God is in control of my life. I have made some wonderful friends through PH. We are all in this together. We need to always encourage and uplift each other. You are an inspiritation to me. I know I can always count on you to give it to me straight.

Anonymous said...

I am new to this PH and hope they are wrong but actually hope they are right otherwise we're back to square one.

You're right. I am 80% consumed with all this Ph and stuff. I have reminders everyday of what Dr. wants what until I get the final diagnosis.

However, once I get settled in with this watch out! Nan will come out and play.

Be good. Be well.
Nan of CA